This weekend the National Football League finally joined Colin Kapernick in protest. I’m sad that it took them so long, but am glad they’re finally doing it. This story has prompted a lot of thinking.

Back before 2009, when it became de rigueur for players to stand for the pledge of allegiance, I remember my hometown football team usually knelt for the pledge. Kneeling was considered a sign of profound respect. It’s fascinating that now President Trump and the alt-right argue it’s disrespectful. As one viewer tweeted to The Young Turks, if it’s disrespectful to kneel, why is it traditional to kneel when praying? According to Trumpian logic, wouldn’t that be saying “F you!” to God?

On the free speech angle, I was prompted to think about a photo I’d taken on my iPhone using a special camera app. Now I’ll be honest, sometimes when I glance in the toilet before flushing, I notice that the TP has formed a recognizable shape. This random origami, if you will, fascinates me. So sometimes I’ll take a picture of an especially good one.

A week or so before the 2016 election, I noticed the TP had made a beautifully expressive checkmark, as if the toilet bowl was a checkbox. This perfectly expressed my feelings about an election in which the leading choices were both pretty crappy and it was hard to feel like my vote mattered. I might as well flush my vote down the toilet. So I took a photo, though I wound up never posting it anywhere. Then a couple of months ago I opened the app only to discover that all of my photos had disappeared without warning! I don’t know this for certain, but it appears that the app may have deleted my content, even though I had kept it private, because they deemed my TP photos obscene and thus in violation of their TOS.

Now, as a private company the app had the right to do that, as much as I didn’t like it. But this brings up several questions. What is obscene? I could argue that a great deal of constitutionally protected speech is obscene. Does that mean that it should, therefore, not be heard? Where should we draw the line? I don’t think that the Nazi crowds in Charlottesville’s speech should be protected. I think it’s obscene, obvious hate speech, and incitement to violence. Yet some think that Colin Kapernick kneeling during the pledge of allegiance is obscene and hateful speech.

I’m not going to answer these questions here. But if I were in charge I would make changes to the pledge of allegiance. Doing so won’t solve any free speech issues, but it would remove some of the major objections to reciting it based on the wording.

I pledge allegiance to the United States of America. Many peoples creating one nation with freedom and justice for all.

This wording pledges allegiance directly to the nation, not to its flag. It also removes mention of God (I’d also remove “In God we trust” from US currency). Whatever one’s religious beliefs, church and state are supposed to be separate in the United States, so it’s inappropriate for God to be in our national pledge (or on our currency). Finally, this wording focuses on our history of melding immigrants from around the globe into one nation founded on constitutional principles.

This post has followed my thought association. So to thank those who’ve read this far and to return to TP origami, here’s an excerpt from a story in progress tentatively titled “Cordelia and the Shit Demon” that was inspired by this manifestation of serendipity. Enjoy:

            “Cordelia, why are you setting up the high-speed over the toilet?”

The small, mousy witch so addressed blushed and continued to adjust the video camera’s controls for a moment before replying. “You know I’m good at reading the tea leaves. Well, it turns out you can get a lot more interesting and accurate information reading toilet paper because of the – ahem – biological materials involved. Is something wrong?” She fiddled with the lapel of her robe, which was fraying from this nervous tic, and looked up at Pansy with concerned doe-like eyes. Rumor had it that Cordelia’s glasses were made with two magnifying glasses, a touch of magic, and a bit of wire. They certainly did enlarge her eyes in a way Pansy found both absurd and irresistible. She couldn’t scoff at the silly project with those brown orbs turned on her.

Giving in, Pansy crossed her arms and leaned against the doorjamb. “So why the high-speed? You never needed it for tea.”

Cordelia smacked her fist into her palm. “Oh, right! I didn’t say, did I? This camera,” she gestured like a model displaying a product, “will capture the flush cycle, in case it goes by too fast or there are nuances my eye alone can’t see. The tripod is set up to breakdown quickly so my scrying will occupy the bathroom for the least time possible.” The little witch beamed.