Being woke is ruining reading

We’re not saying being woke is a bad thing, but it stinks when you suddenly can’t stand books or authors you used to enjoy. We read to escape, darn it, and here comes our sociopolitical awareness jolting us out of a nice fantasy. So rude!

This has been happening a lot with romance novels lately. Romance novels are the epitome of escapism. No other section in the book store offers quite the same level of pure fun—and we say that as card-carrying SFF and manga buffs. Sci-fi, fantasy, and comics—at least the kind we enjoy—all ask you to think on some level. Even fantasy romps like Piers Anthony’s Xanth series have a cleverly concealed commentary on society. So does Ranma 1/2. Marvel and DC’s comics do, too.

Romance novels, on the other hand, usually conform very closely to social norms. They uphold the “one true love” ideal and a whole bunch of other nonsense.

Case in point: we were listening to Selkies are a Girl’s Best Friend by Molly Harper. (No, that is not our typo. That’s the published title. Shame on whoever edited it!) Molly Harper is good with the snark and we were looking forward to another laugh out loud installment. And then the main character, Sophia, has an inner monologue in which she submits to societal pressure to settle down and have kids with a guy she has only known for a few days and initially hated. Cue our inner monologue saying, “This is ridiculous and unhealthy. We’re returning this book.”

We’ve also been listening to Ravenheart by Dannika Dark, the second novel in the Crossbreed series. This series is more action murder mystery in an urban fantasy setting than romance and it’s also full of snark. At one point our heroine Raven goes on a date with Detective Glass. Glass insists on ordering for her and overrules her saying she’d prefer a chicken salad. At which point we’re wondering why she doesn’t get up and leave. After the date Raven’s internal monologue is all about how she liked Glass being dominant (we’d call that being a domineering asshole). This is way out of character for Raven, who we expected was only dating Glass to get close to the investigation and piss off her work partner Sebastian. But it does support toxic social norms around masculinity and romance. We’re not sure yet if this is a blip in an otherwise enjoyable series.

We are wondering if outgrowing romance novels is a mark of emotional maturity, of being ready to set those toxic norms behind us.

Thoughts welcome.

On Alphas and Omegas

Yesterday I took a walk and ran into an older woman. She was also out walking and just seemed to need to talk. It sounds like she’s alone in her home most of the time. I can relate. It’s increasingly easy to become isolated in today’s world. When you’re not young, healthy, and able to be active in work, school, or social groups, the walls close in. Many people seem to think social media is an adequate substitute for real contact and communication. I think that’s because these folks have a vibrant support network and active life which social media merely supplements. For those who can’t fully participate in our able-body-oriented world, social media is something, but nothing can replace in person interaction. So I let the woman bend my ear for a while and validated the positive choices she was making.

The interaction made me think of a line in Patricia Briggs’ Alpha and Omega series (I’ll paraphrase since I listen to the audiobooks):

“I bet complete strangers come up to you and tell you their deepest secrets all the time.”

Charles says this to Anna, explaining that it’s a trait of omega wolves. In Briggs’ universe, omega wolves are a rare combination of dominant and submissive traits. Omega wolves share the dominant urge to protect, but don’t feel the need to fight for dominance or kill like submissive wolves. Omegas also are the only wolves that are not affected by a magical compulsion to obey a more dominant wolf’s orders. One character in the Alpha and Omega series calls omegas “dominants who are really, really zen.”

If I lived in Briggs’ universe, I’d be an omega. I’ve had total strangers come up to me and say, “I have this feeling I need to talk to you,” and proceed to spill their darkest troubles. The closer our association, the more people seem to feel compelled to tell me everything. This is a useful trait for an author, as I get to hear a lot of fascinating stories. I also enjoy helping people attain some measure of peace.

Being an omega is tricky, however. I’ve run into trouble because those with more…aggressive…natures sometimes suddenly realize they’ve told me highly sensitive information. Even though I’m good at keeping secrets, these people suddenly view me as a threat. Their fear then drives them to attack.

Another trait of omega wolves is that others feel the need to protect them. This is also a double-edged sword. Sometimes I have unconsciously relied on that protection and left myself vulnerable to harm.

I won’t list all the reasons I’d be an omega, but thinking about this topic in conjunction with world-building, I decided that the dominance angle comes from werewolves’ human creators and is not an essential part of werewolves.

From my participation in BDSM, I’ve seen extremes of dominance and submission. Werewolves as presented in Patricia Briggs’ novels offer a useful paradigm for categorizing kinky humans.

  • An Alpha is the most dominant person or wolf in a given area. They assume responsibility for others’ safety. Dominants feel compelled to jockey for position and will fight to attain and maintain the highest social rank possible. Kinky human dominants who pursue healthy relationships usually want to be alphas.
  • A Beast is an alpha who does not feel the need to protect others. In kink terms, this equates to the predators, abusers, bullies, and well-named Assholes in Leather among us. These people promulgate the disgusting trope that submissives are (or should be) doormats. This GoodReads thread has a great discussion on this topic re: the Alpha and Omega series.
  • Omegas may equate to switches. In the kink world, a switch has both dominant and submissive aspects which they switch between.
  • Submissives are those humans and wolves who aren’t preoccupied with fighting for position (at least not to the extent dominants are). In the context of a BDSM dynamic, a submissive obeys their dominant and does their best to please them within agreed bounds. Contrary to the belief of many human Beasts, submissives need not submit to anyone but their dominant partner(s) without prior consent. Briggs’ werewolves are different in that all wolves must submit to the most dominant wolf present. This and several quotes from the books perpetuate the “submissives are doormats, the lowest of the low” trope.

This paradigm can even be useful outside of kink circles. In my mind it runs into two problems, however:

  1. The aforementioned “submissives are doormats, the lowest of the low” trope. Submissives can be very powerful!
  2. Actual wolf pack dynamics.

I encourage you to read the full article I’ve linked above. Here’s the gist, though:

studies of wild wolves have found that wolves live in families: two parents along with their younger cubs. Wolves do not have an innate sense of rank; they are not born leaders or born followers. The “alphas” are simply what we would call in any other social group “parents.”

The whole alpha thing was a mistake born from observing captive wolves. Captive wolves are usually a group of unrelated specimens. They’re not family. This leads to the abnormal preoccupation with social dominance researchers observed. I also think researchers may have laid human preoccupation with dominance over their observations, distorting what they actually saw. This doesn’t mean wolves in the wild don’t care about dominance at all, just that it’s not behind a lot of pack behavior.

I’ve already noted that I like to remain as true to current science in my writing as possible. Therefore, the werewolves in my universe will not have any of that “alpha vs. omega” nonsense. Therianthropes of all kinds will behave according to a combination of their human nature and the way their animal nature behaves in the wild. That means my werewolf packs will be families. (And yes, I’m planning more than just werewolves!)