On Alphas and Omegas

Yesterday I took a walk and ran into an older woman. She was also out walking and just seemed to need to talk. It sounds like she’s alone in her home most of the time. I can relate. It’s increasingly easy to become isolated in today’s world. When you’re not young, healthy, and able to be active in work, school, or social groups, the walls close in. Many people seem to think social media is an adequate substitute for real contact and communication. I think that’s because these folks have a vibrant support network and active life which social media merely supplements. For those who can’t fully participate in our able-body-oriented world, social media is something, but nothing can replace in person interaction. So I let the woman bend my ear for a while and validated the positive choices she was making.

The interaction made me think of a line in Patricia Briggs’ Alpha and Omega series (I’ll paraphrase since I listen to the audiobooks):

“I bet complete strangers come up to you and tell you their deepest secrets all the time.”

Charles says this to Anna, explaining that it’s a trait of omega wolves. In Briggs’ universe, omega wolves are a rare combination of dominant and submissive traits. Omega wolves share the dominant urge to protect, but don’t feel the need to fight for dominance or kill like submissive wolves. Omegas also are the only wolves that are not affected by a magical compulsion to obey a more dominant wolf’s orders. One character in the Alpha and Omega series calls omegas “dominants who are really, really zen.”

If I lived in Briggs’ universe, I’d be an omega. I’ve had total strangers come up to me and say, “I have this feeling I need to talk to you,” and proceed to spill their darkest troubles. The closer our association, the more people seem to feel compelled to tell me everything. This is a useful trait for an author, as I get to hear a lot of fascinating stories. I also enjoy helping people attain some measure of peace.

Being an omega is tricky, however. I’ve run into trouble because those with more…aggressive…natures sometimes suddenly realize they’ve told me highly sensitive information. Even though I’m good at keeping secrets, these people suddenly view me as a threat. Their fear then drives them to attack.

Another trait of omega wolves is that others feel the need to protect them. This is also a double-edged sword. Sometimes I have unconsciously relied on that protection and left myself vulnerable to harm.

I won’t list all the reasons I’d be an omega, but thinking about this topic in conjunction with world-building, I decided that the dominance angle comes from werewolves’ human creators and is not an essential part of werewolves.

From my participation in BDSM, I’ve seen extremes of dominance and submission. Werewolves as presented in Patricia Briggs’ novels offer a useful paradigm for categorizing kinky humans.

  • An Alpha is the most dominant person or wolf in a given area. They assume responsibility for others’ safety. Dominants feel compelled to jockey for position and will fight to attain and maintain the highest social rank possible. Kinky human dominants who pursue healthy relationships usually want to be alphas.
  • A Beast is an alpha who does not feel the need to protect others. In kink terms, this equates to the predators, abusers, bullies, and well-named Assholes in Leather among us. These people promulgate the disgusting trope that submissives are (or should be) doormats. This GoodReads thread has a great discussion on this topic re: the Alpha and Omega series.
  • Omegas may equate to switches. In the kink world, a switch has both dominant and submissive aspects which they switch between.
  • Submissives are those humans and wolves who aren’t preoccupied with fighting for position (at least not to the extent dominants are). In the context of a BDSM dynamic, a submissive obeys their dominant and does their best to please them within agreed bounds. Contrary to the belief of many human Beasts, submissives need not submit to anyone but their dominant partner(s) without prior consent. Briggs’ werewolves are different in that all wolves must submit to the most dominant wolf present. This and several quotes from the books perpetuate the “submissives are doormats, the lowest of the low” trope.

This paradigm can even be useful outside of kink circles. In my mind it runs into two problems, however:

  1. The aforementioned “submissives are doormats, the lowest of the low” trope. Submissives can be very powerful!
  2. Actual wolf pack dynamics.

I encourage you to read the full article I’ve linked above. Here’s the gist, though:

studies of wild wolves have found that wolves live in families: two parents along with their younger cubs. Wolves do not have an innate sense of rank; they are not born leaders or born followers. The “alphas” are simply what we would call in any other social group “parents.”

The whole alpha thing was a mistake born from observing captive wolves. Captive wolves are usually a group of unrelated specimens. They’re not family. This leads to the abnormal preoccupation with social dominance researchers observed. I also think researchers may have laid human preoccupation with dominance over their observations, distorting what they actually saw. This doesn’t mean wolves in the wild don’t care about dominance at all, just that it’s not behind a lot of pack behavior.

I’ve already noted that I like to remain as true to current science in my writing as possible. Therefore, the werewolves in my universe will not have any of that “alpha vs. omega” nonsense. Therianthropes of all kinds will behave according to a combination of their human nature and the way their animal nature behaves in the wild. That means my werewolf packs will be families. (And yes, I’m planning more than just werewolves!)

My Monster, the Vampire

It’s Friday, October the thirteenth today! (Pro tip: not the day to schedule your secret society meeting. 😉) That makes this the perfect day to blog about vampires.

Why vampires? For one thing, they’re at the core of the novel I’m writing, House Ibsen. There are lots of other classic monsters, too, like werewolves and witches and trolls (oh my! 😉), though the focus is on vampires.

But the real reason is that vampires are my monsters.

You see, every Fall I’d dread October’s arrival. The horror genre took over the airwaves. You couldn’t turn on the TV without seeing some sort of monster. I have always been prone to night terrors, the kind of nightmares where you thrash about and scream in your sleep. One time I backhanded my babysitter in the face mid-nightmare, but that’s another story.

Every October for years I’d have a nightmare that I was trapped in a treehouse and vampires were coming to get me. Every year like clockwork. It scared the bejeezus out of me. I can’t remember if it started before the The Simpsons’ “Treehouse of Horror” episode or not.

It finally stopped recurring sometime in junior high when I realized why I was particularly terrified of vampires; vampires are real and I was surrounded by them in my daily life.

I don’t mean that I was literally surrounded by the bloodsucking undead. I mean that many of the people in my life were like vampires. These people drained their victims of energy, money, and power. In psychology terms, they were toxic people high on the malignant narcissism scale. I believe that vampires function as a metaphor for humans who abuse power and prey on others.

I’ve read a lot of scholarly twaffle about vampires representing fears of blood borne disease and promiscuity. I don’t buy it. It makes much more sense to me that werewolves represent fears of infection (and being preyed upon by animals). The promiscuity angle comes from vampires and toxic people both using seduction to lure prey.

I have come to have a greater appreciation for vampires and worked on desensitizing myself. My best friend Matt helped. We’d rent vampire films and mock them mercilessly.

But I’m still afraid of vampires. They’re my monster because they continue to pop up in real life. They also continue to be the number one boogie man in my dreams. In fact, I was inspired to start writing HouseIbsen by a terrible nightmare involving vampires.

Which monster is your monster?


Bonus tidbit: one of my grandfathers believed Friday the 13th was his lucky day because good things always happened to him on that date. Specifically, he disembarked safely in Europe in World War II, returned home from the war, and died having a great day on the golf course, all on Friday the 13th.

Link

Groove with Rosemerry!

Apple Music now allows you to see what friends are listening to and listen to their playlists a la Spotify. Check out my “Writer’s Candy” playlist, chock full of songs that inspire my writing. And please share your own favorite writing jams!