Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Trump, King of Dulness

I’ve been listening to Alexander Pope’s collected poems. I was first inspired to do so by Anne McCaffery, whose characters often reference the poet. I was particularly struck by “The Dunciad”, a poem about crowning the King of Dulness (sic) and expanding Dulness’ empire. Pope is at his best when his tongue is sharpest, and “The Dunciad” could read as a screed against Trumpism and the creep of anti-intellectualism. Great literature remains relevant, but in light of today’s news about Roy Moore, Pope seems prescient:

All as a partridge plump, full fed and fair,

She form’d this image of well-bodied air;

With pert flat eyes she window’d well its head,

A brain of Feathers, and a heart of Lead;

And empty words she gave, and sounding strain,

But senseless, lifeless! idol void and vain!

Never was dash’d out, at one lucky hit,

A Fool so just a copy of a Wit;

So like, that Critics said, and Courtiers swore,

A Wit it was, and call’d the phantom Moore.

Pope, Alexander. “The Dunciad”, Book II, 41-50. In The complete poetical works of Alexander Pope. Boston: Houghton, Mifflin, 1903. Accessed September 26, 2017. http://www.bartleby.com/203/164.html.

Free Speech, Flags, and Toilet Paper

This weekend the National Football League finally joined Colin Kapernick in protest. I’m sad that it took them so long, but am glad they’re finally doing it. This story has prompted a lot of thinking.

Back before 2009, when it became de rigueur for players to stand for the pledge of allegiance, I remember my hometown football team usually knelt for the pledge. Kneeling was considered a sign of profound respect. It’s fascinating that now President Trump and the alt-right argue it’s disrespectful. As one viewer tweeted to The Young Turks, if it’s disrespectful to kneel, why is it traditional to kneel when praying? According to Trumpian logic, wouldn’t that be saying “F you!” to God?

On the free speech angle, I was prompted to think about a photo I’d taken on my iPhone using a special camera app. Now I’ll be honest, sometimes when I glance in the toilet before flushing, I notice that the TP has formed a recognizable shape. This random origami, if you will, fascinates me. So sometimes I’ll take a picture of an especially good one.

A week or so before the 2016 election, I noticed the TP had made a beautifully expressive checkmark, as if the toilet bowl was a checkbox. This perfectly expressed my feelings about an election in which the leading choices were both pretty crappy and it was hard to feel like my vote mattered. I might as well flush my vote down the toilet. So I took a photo, though I wound up never posting it anywhere. Then a couple of months ago I opened the app only to discover that all of my photos had disappeared without warning! I don’t know this for certain, but it appears that the app may have deleted my content, even though I had kept it private, because they deemed my TP photos obscene and thus in violation of their TOS.

Now, as a private company the app had the right to do that, as much as I didn’t like it. But this brings up several questions. What is obscene? I could argue that a great deal of constitutionally protected speech is obscene. Does that mean that it should, therefore, not be heard? Where should we draw the line? I don’t think that the Nazi crowds in Charlottesville’s speech should be protected. I think it’s obscene, obvious hate speech, and incitement to violence. Yet some think that Colin Kapernick kneeling during the pledge of allegiance is obscene and hateful speech.

I’m not going to answer these questions here. But if I were in charge I would make changes to the pledge of allegiance. Doing so won’t solve any free speech issues, but it would remove some of the major objections to reciting it based on the wording.

I pledge allegiance to the United States of America. Many peoples creating one nation with freedom and justice for all.

This wording pledges allegiance directly to the nation, not to its flag. It also removes mention of God (I’d also remove “In God we trust” from US currency). Whatever one’s religious beliefs, church and state are supposed to be separate in the United States, so it’s inappropriate for God to be in our national pledge (or on our currency). Finally, this wording focuses on our history of melding immigrants from around the globe into one nation founded on constitutional principles.

This post has followed my thought association. So to thank those who’ve read this far and to return to TP origami, here’s an excerpt from a story in progress tentatively titled “Cordelia and the Shit Demon” that was inspired by this manifestation of serendipity. Enjoy:

            “Cordelia, why are you setting up the high-speed over the toilet?”

The small, mousy witch so addressed blushed and continued to adjust the video camera’s controls for a moment before replying. “You know I’m good at reading the tea leaves. Well, it turns out you can get a lot more interesting and accurate information reading toilet paper because of the – ahem – biological materials involved. Is something wrong?” She fiddled with the lapel of her robe, which was fraying from this nervous tic, and looked up at Pansy with concerned doe-like eyes. Rumor had it that Cordelia’s glasses were made with two magnifying glasses, a touch of magic, and a bit of wire. They certainly did enlarge her eyes in a way Pansy found both absurd and irresistible. She couldn’t scoff at the silly project with those brown orbs turned on her.

Giving in, Pansy crossed her arms and leaned against the doorjamb. “So why the high-speed? You never needed it for tea.”

Cordelia smacked her fist into her palm. “Oh, right! I didn’t say, did I? This camera,” she gestured like a model displaying a product, “will capture the flush cycle, in case it goes by too fast or there are nuances my eye alone can’t see. The tripod is set up to breakdown quickly so my scrying will occupy the bathroom for the least time possible.” The little witch beamed.

Vincente for Presidente and the US Electoral System

If you haven’t already seen former Mexican President Vincente Fox’s YouTube videos addressing US President Donald Trump, you should. They’re hilarious. Here’s one of my favorites:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ukv9v7IGZw

Vincente Fox’s humor makes me think he’d make a wonderful US presidential candidate, though I know nothing of his policies. This also made me reflect on a high school friend who wanted to be POTUS, but couldn’t because he was born in China prior to his parents’ immigration. While I understand the reasons for not allowing people like my friend to run for president, it saddens me that we lose out on some folks who would make fantastic elected officials.

I often think about what I would do if I was in charge. This helps me both think through the issues and build story worlds in which I can experiment with those policies and their opposites. Donald Trump’s election helped bring debate over the electoral college to the forefront. Before Trump was elected, many of my friends and I were for abolishing the electoral college. But once Trump’s election was on the horizon, I changed my mind.

The founders wrote the electoral college into the constitution as a fail-safe measure. They envisioned the electors’ job as preventing demagogues and unqualified or incompetent candidates from rising to power. Yet in the 2016 presidential election, they arguably failed to do so.

I believe this failure is the result of the way the electors’ job description is written. Electors are told they are “faithless” if they do not vote for the candidate who wins the majority of votes in their state. Many states fine faithless electors. With this state of affairs, we might as well eliminate the electoral college and implement true direct democracy. But we need electors to be the nation’s failsafe. So I’d rewrite their job description to be explicit about their mandate to prevent demagogues from achieving office. A faithless elector would be one who failed to prevent another Trump from becoming POTUS. How the nation would determine the president-elect is unacceptable would need to be spelled out. When there is not an untenable candidate in the race, electors would simply be required to certify the accuracy and legitimacy of their state’s vote tallies (so rather than voting for a candidate as in the current winner-take-all system, the certified state vote tallies would be added to those of all other states, creating a nationwide popular vote). This would mean acting to eliminate voter suppression, ensuring security, and eliminating fraud.

I would also make nationwide changes to the voting process. Election Day would be moved to Monday and declared a federal holiday. I would follow Australia’s example and pass a law requiring all eligible US citizens to vote. To make that easier, I would create an electronic, online voting system that would allow people to vote from the convenience of the nearest online device. I’d supplement this system with vote by mail and polling stations at every library and school computer center to ensure access. Naturally, this would require strong security protocols, but I’m convinced it can be done.

If you were in charge, how would you change the United States’ voting system?